Abuse Unmasked

It's a Crime

Women abuse is a crime and can have profound negative effects on the women and children who experience it.

Emergency Escape Plan

Keep track of stalking. Do’s and don’ts for protecting yourself.

If you are or have been abused call the Pavilion for support and prepare an Emergency Escape Plan.

Chances are, if it happened once, it will happen again!

Call 1-888-871-9090 24hrs a day
for assistance and support

Women Abuse Dispelling the Myths

MYTH

Wife assault is a new social problem.

FACT

Wife assault is NOT new. In Canada, it wasn’t until 1968, when the Federal Divorce Act was passed, that physical and mental cruelty became grounds for divorce.

MYTH

Wife assault is not a widespread problem.

FACT

In a recent study, 1 in 5 Canadian men living with a woman admitted to using violence against her.

MYTH

Alcohol causes men to assault their partners.

FACT

Alcohol can make it easier for a man to be violent. However, the real cause of wife assault is the batterer’s desire for power and control over his partner. Batterer’s often use alcohol as an excuse to avoid taking responsibility for their violent behaviour.

MYTH

Men are abused by their partners as often as women are.

FACT

More than 92% of charges related to spousal assault in Ontario are laid against men. Most charges laid against women are counter-charges laid by assaultive partners or stem from acts of self-defense.

MYTH

Women often provoke assaults and deserve what they get.

FACT

No woman ever deserves to be beaten. Assaulted woman report a wide range of incidents that trigger violence. For example: “I fried his eggs the wrong way,” “I didn’t turn down the radio enough,” or “I went out with my friends without asking his permission.” Abusive men often claim their partner provoked an assault to avoid responsibility for power and control over his partner.

The Cycle of Abuse and Why Men Abuse & Why Women Stay

Why do Men Abuse?

  • have learned this behaviour in their family or origin (75% of batterers have witnessed their father abusing their mother)
  • believe and are influenced by dominant male images reinforced by society and media
  • live in society where there are few, if any, negative consequences for woman abuse
  • believe it is an appropriate expression of power and control
  • want their partner to remain dependent on them

Why do Women Stay?

  • want their relationship to work and hope their partner will change
  • fear of reprisals from their partner
  • lack of money or housing (95% of
  • women who left their partner live below the poverty line
  • want their children to have a father at home
  • feel guilt, shame and responsibility for the abuse
  • are not aware that help is available
  • may have religious or familial beliefs that condemn a woman for leaving
  • do not have personal or social supports
    fear of losing their children

Characteristics Of Women Abuse And Their Abuser

Women Abuse

  1. Low self-esteem
  2. Believes all myths about battering relationships.
  3. Is a traditionalist in the home, strongly believing in family unity and the prescribes of the feminine sex role stereotype.
  4. Accepts responsibility for the batterer’s actions.
  5. Suffers from guilt yet denies the terror and anger she feels.
  6. Presents a passive face to the world but has strength to manipulate her environment so shoe does not get killed.
  7. Has severe stress reactions with psychological complaints.
  8. Uses sex as a way to establish intimacy.
  9. Treated as “Daddy’s Little Girl” (As a Child)
  10. Believes no one will be able to help her resolve her predicament except herself.

Abuser

  1. Low self-esteem
  2. Believes all myths about battering relationships.
  3. Is a traditionalist in his home, believing in male supremacy and the stereotypic masculine sex role in the family.
  4. Blames others for his actions.
  5. Is pathologically jealous and intrusive into his woman’s life.
  6. Presents a dual personality…Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
  7. Has severe stress reactions during which he uses drinking and wife-beating to cope.
  8. Uses sex as an act of aggression frequently to overcome impotence or bisexuality.
  9. Suffered from child abuse or neglect as a child.
  10. Does not believe his violent behaviours should have negative consequences.

Definitions of Abuse

  • Physical Abuse

    Includes hitting, shoving, slapping, kicking, choking, using a weapon, threatening to assault.

  • Sexual Assault

    Includes forcing a woman to have sex against her wishes. This includes any unwanted touching, kissing, fondling or sexual threats.

  • Psychological/ Emotional Abuse

    Includes insulting, name calling, blaming, threatening suicide, attempts to control another person’s thinking, social contacts, activities and behaviour.

  • Economic Abuse

    Includes the restriction and withholding of financial resources, including prevention from obtaining or maintaining employment.

The Effects of Abuse

  • Depression
  • Anxiety
  • Confusion
  • Sleep Disturbances
  • Suicidal Thoughts
  • Substance Misuse
  • Fear and Panic Attacks

If you know someone who is being abused

  • Be supportive, listen and be patient.
  • Encourage her to seek support and shelter.
  • Tell her that she does not deserve the abuse – It is not her fault.
  • Know the numbers for emergency services in your area.
  • Prepare an emergency bag with keys, identification, legal papers, money, medications.
  • Take only what you can, safely!

Feedback

We are always interested in your opinion and would welcome any comments you may have about our website, it’s contents or the services we provide. Please use the e-mail link provided to send us your feedback.

If you would like information about us or our services and do not require immediate service, please use our e-mail contact list below and we will get back to you as soon as possible.